God knows your value; He sees your potential. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head up high, knowing that God is in control and he has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you’d hoped, but the bible says that God’s ways are better and higher than our ways, even when everybody else rejects you, remember, God stands before you with His arms open wide. He always accepts you. He always confirms your value. God sees your two good moves! You are His prized possession. No matter what you go through in life, no matter how many disappointments you suffer, your value in God’s eyes always remains the same. You will always be the apple of His eye. He will never give up on you, so don’t give up on yourself.

Joel Osteen (Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential)

(at para sa mga di rin naman malungkot pero wala lang, gusto ko lang pagshare-an. Haha)

Lately, I have been struggling. Ewan ko ba pero for some weird reason, ang lungkot ko the past few days. Ang dami ko lang rin kasing iniisip, ang dami kong dapat gawin. Plus sumasabay pa ang hormones ko. San ka pa, diba?
Matutulala na lang ako minsan tapos bigla na lang akong maiiyak. Kahit anong pilit kong pasayahin ang sarili ko, i-divert ang sad thoughts ko into happy thoughts, waley, isang malaking FAIL.

But just now, God reminded me of how much He loves me, and that, my friend, is more than enough reason for me to be happy.

Here are a few points that I’ve come to realize and some points that God reminded me of:

An idle mind is the enemy’s playground.

The enemy will strike us most when we are relaxing.

The enemy always wants to play with our emotions but Christianity is not based on our emotions; it is grounded on truth.

Act on your will, not simply on your emotions.

Happiness is a daily decision.

Forgiveness is the key to being free from toxic bitterness.

When you live trusting God, your really don’t have to struggle.

Don’t magnify your problems. MAGNIFY YOUR GOD. The bigger you make God make, the smaller your problems become, and the more faith will rise in your heart.

Oh, plus the fact that you have me as your friend makes things a little lighter, don’t you think?

Smile.

God is in control.

1. Manage my time wisely. I’ve been soooooo busy with work (consider it an understatement) and other stuff last year that I seldom saw my friends. Most of the time I was just too exhausted to meet them. It’s either that or I just didn’t feel like being in a crowd. I was into hibernating a lot last that I missed on a lot of my closest friends’ events. This year, I vow to make time for you, friends.♥ Of course I just won’t say yes just for the sake of it, but I promise to manage my time wisely- prioritize- that I’ll be able to squeeze meeting you in my oh so hectic schedule.

2. Be more patient. Fine. I trust that You make all things beautiful, Father. I’ll stop at that.

3. Be more gentle. Nag less (especially to the fiance), love more. So I’ve been nagging Hans a lot- I’ve become too much of an obssessive compulsive girlfriend that sometimes I forget how much I’ve been hurting him. (Sorry, babe. You know I love you). So this year, I shall make the best effort to understand whatever situation you’re in. That’s a promise.

4. Eat healthy. Like seriously. Every new year, I always declare that it is my resolution to eat the food that I don’t eat. To name a few: beef, carrots, seafood (I eat them only if with breading) except fried fish, goat, lamb, et cetera, et cetera. I’ve been feeling that my body’s metabolism is not how it used to be. Haha. So this year, eating healthy is definitely part of my list. And not just in writing. This is a declaration that will definitely come to pass √

5. Take care of my mom’s health: meticulously check her bp and the food that she eats.

6. Spend more time with my God. I miss just hanging out at coffee shops, writing about how God has been blessing me. So I really intend to make every moment of my life a moment with my God.

7. Write more.Oh how I miss writing so much! I promise to write more not just for the sake of writing but also for me to express myself more. I’ll be crazy if I won’t be able to express every bit of thought that I have in my mind.

8. Represent God in everything I say and do.

9. Travel.Explore the country and yes, the world.

10. Be the Psalm 31 woman as Hans and I wait for next year ü *wink, wink*

I couldn’t agree more. I really am blessed to love and be loved in return.

It wasn’t always this easy, you know.

I have been consistent with my pool of men: The handsome men who drives women crazy. The innocent-looking men who showed nothing but kindness but are pretenders in real life. The men who would do anything to get you to bed. The liars. The jerks.

My longest relationship was with my Super Ex-Boyfriend which lasted for two years. I was very much inlove. Needless to say, he was, in his own way, loving me with all he had. But the relationship just wasn’t right. Eventually we had to break up, and I had to deal with the loss of someone I had intended to share my future with.

It wasn’t an easy decision. After that relationship, I prayed and knelt to God, crying. I was telling Him that I surrender my all to Him. I sought His will. I asked Him to fill all the empty spaces in my heart, that I may no longer feel incomplete again. I asked Him to be my partner, my lover, my bestfriend, my Dad.

After that prayer (which led my eyes to be smaller than they usually were), I lived my life according to His will. I made sure that no guy would ever come between me and my God. I focused on God and God alone.

It wasn’t easy.

I chose to be single for 6 years. The longest 6 years of my life. You see, I started dating when I was 13 years old, so being single was a struggle for me.

Over and over again a guy would come and steal my heart away, offering me company during the times when I felt most lonely. Of course, because I was guarding my heart, I pushed guys away. But because I’m a girl, most of the time, I gave in. And the ending would be very, very tragic.

I ended up getting more hurt. This is the classic ‘I should have known better’ situation.

So I reminded myself that I would never settle for less. That God is all I need. That in God’s perfect time, somebody will come.

The waiting stage was the most painful of all. Loneliness would strike me. The past would haunt me.

But I stood on my ground.

I made sure that God was first in my life. That no man would interfere with my relationship with God. That I am my own self. That I need not be in a relationship with a man to feel complete, because the love of God completes me.

Loneliness would once in a while come to me, but because I have God, I felt contented and secured.

And then, just when I thought that I was called to be single for the rest of my life (believe me, I thought that I was called for single-blessedness), somebody came.

Somebody who is a living persona of my dream guy.

This may sound so cheesy but I had to say it: I NEVER IMAGINED THAT SUCH A HUMAN BEING EXISTS.

And so I sought God’s approval. I knew that if I want this relationship to last, it had to have God’s blessing.

After weeks of praying, the Lord answered.

And so He is my answered prayer.

I never thought that I would be in this kind of relationship. Everything is perfect. LIKE SERIOUSLY. The Lord just kept on blessing us in so many ways, it’s just so overwhelming.

It is so true that when you obey God, His favor will  come to you. OBEDIENCE PRECEDES FAVOR. Put it there.

I chose to obey God despite what people thought of me. My friends thought it was crazy for me not to entertain men because I was waiting for “the perfect guy”.  Guy friends would discourage me that such men only exist in movies.

I chose to obey despite the hurt that I’m feeling from letting go the handsome guy who courted me.

I chose to obey despite living in a society where being with a guy makes a girl complete.

I chose to obey.

Because I obeyed, the Lord rewarded me. I was waiting and hurting and crying, but I did not give in.

The Lord rewards those who are obedient to his will.

And so, let me share this song which has been my waiting song. To all the single, seeking girls out there, God’s got you. Wait on His will. Trust and obey. The Lord blesses those who obeys.

LOVE IS WAITING

Brooke Fraser

In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories – whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I’ll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it’s time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

[CHORUS:]
I’ll be waiting for you baby
I’ll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we’re ready, til it’s right
Love is waiting

It’s my caution not the cold
there’s no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, I’m singing for the strangers about you
don’t keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you’re my man

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE:]
I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart

I waited for what seemed like forever to me, but now that I’ve found the answer to my prayers, I’ve never felt such joy. It’s as sweet as ever.

Love is waiting.

Need I say more?

All I know is that for the past 10 months, it was all about surrender.

Me surrendering to the fact that my dad is already gone.
Me surrendering to the fact that we no longer live in church (I’m a pastor’s kid, so there).
Me surrendering to the fact that the Lord needs me to stay in my job. PERIOD.
Me surrendering to the fact that I need to bless other people, not curse them.
Me surrendering to the fact that I am loved- warts and all.
Me surrendering to the fact that I need to take care of my mom, together with my siblings.
Me surrendering to the fact that I am engaged with the perfect man (don’t get me started with that).
Me surrendering to the fact that the Lord is not done with me yet.
Me surrendering to the fact that it was never about me. It has always been about Him.

I can go on and on about this, but let me just put it this way:

THIS YEAR, I HAVE LEARNED TO SUBMIT.
TO LET GO.
TO MOVE FORWARD.
TO LET GOD.

And you know what? My life has never been this goooood.

It’s been 11 months since you left, and I just can’t get over you.

I miss you everyday.

I love you.